How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Vault of Archavon. Free loot for everyone. You know the drill. Get 10 or 25 people together, go inside, spank down some trash, spank down some bosses who stand there and let you, loot, roll win.

Tonight, Stormshaper went into Vault of Archavon for the first time. In there, she took down the new boss, Toravon the Ice Watcher and Koralon the Flame Watcher. Two nice achievements to be had, all well and good.

But that isn’t what this post is about.

This post is about the remarkable reaction some people have to winning loot. You see, Toravon the Ice Watcher dropped these. Nice aren’t they?

Anyway, in the group of 25 there were 5 shamans. The raid leader and master looter said “Main spec roll” and with that, every shaman rolled. Stormshaper rolled 95, and Stormshaper won the boots.

Now, that is normally where it ends. Loot distributed, move to next boss.

No.

Not when you have a shaman in your group called Pamphilos. You see Pamphilos has thousands of PvP kills, therefore, Pamphilos believed that as he rolled the second highest roll, the loot should go to him.

I got an immediate whisper.

“If you were a nice person, you would give them to me.”
“Eh? But I won them fairly.”
“No. You ninja’d them. You have only 66 PvP kills. You don’t PvP, you should give them to me.”
“Umm, no. If I had 0 PvP kills, you could say I don’t PvP, but I have 66, so I have actually PvP’d on this character.”
“No. You should give them to me.”
“No I shouldn’t. I rolled fairly and won.”
“You ninja’d them. You should not roll on PvP gear.”

In the raid, people were arguing.
You should give them to Pamphilos.
You ninja’d that loot.
No she didn’t ninja the loot she rolled and won.
You have twenty people here who think you’re a ninja.
We’ll never group with you again.

“Fine.” Says I. “This is my care face. Can you see me caring?”

By now, Koralon is engaged.

“900G for the loot”
“No thanks.”
“You fucking prick”
“Excuse me?”
“You fucking ninja prick”
“I didn’t ninja anything. I won them fairly, deal with it.”
“You’ll never get invited to somerandomguildname
“But I don’t want to be invited to somerandomguildname
“Ha! You fucking noob. They’re ranked 3/4 on the realm.”
“Okay, good for them. I still don’t want to be invited to somerandomguildname.”
“You’ve made enemies here.”
“Eh? Enemies? Where? What are you talking about?”
“You’re a ninja and you’ve made enemies. I’m serious. I’ve got over 10,000 PvP kills. Those boots should be mine.”
“These 10,000 kills, did you QQ them to death?”
“Fuck off. Prick.”
“Nice.”
“You had no right to roll on that loot.”
“I had every right to roll on it. I was part of the raid that killed the boss. I did my share of damage, that gives me the right to roll.”
“No it doesn’t. You should not roll on PvP gear.”
“Says who?”
“Me.”
“Well, you’re not the raid leader or master looter, and you didn’t make the loot rules up.”
“STFU.”

By now we’d taken out Koralon. Another achievement. Yay.

I couldn’t tell you if any loot dropped off him that I could use, I was too staggered by what was on my screen. I found it hilarious. Such a devastating reaction.

Time passed and the raid ended. I was in Dalaran.

“Mate.”
“I’m not your mate.”
“Mate, give me the loot, I really need the upgrade.”
“No chance.”
“They’re PvP and you’re not going to use them.”
“How do you know? How do you know I’m not going to use them? You don’t know that.”
“You can’t use them in PvE.”
“Yes, I know. I’m not going to use them in PvE. I already have a full tier 9 set for PvE.”
“Noob.”
“Oh! Oh here it comes. Okay, lets get the nerd rage out of the way.”
“I’m going to kill you.”
“How exactly are you going to “kill” me?”
“I will duel you.”
“Okay, and then will you loot my still warm corpse for the footwear?”
“STFU Noob.”
“Ha! You’re hilarious.”
“You’re a prick. You fucking noob.”
“Ha! Ha! Got any more? How about ‘Your mother’ jokes? Got any of them?”
“Look, this is your last chance, seriously. Give me that loot.”
“Eh? Last chance to give you the loot that I won fairly and squarely? What will happen if I don’t take that last chance?”
“I’ll kill you. When I find you.”
“Well, I’m on the flight path in Dalaran.”
“I can’t kill you there.”
“Well, technically, you can’t kill me anywhere, but don’t let that stop you trying.”
“You’re dead. You’ve made loads of enemies today.”
“Hmm, cyber nerd rage enemies? I’ll live.”
“You prick.”
“Okay, you’re boring me now.”

With that, I flew off from Dalaran to hand in a daily in Argent Tournament.

“Yeah, go on, fly away.”
“I have.”
“You prick.”
“Okay, here’s a suggestion. If you really, really want the feet that dropped, go and round up all your buddies, and farm VoA, the same as everyone else does.”
“STFU noob.”
“Okay. Well, don’t cry too hard, they’re just pixels, and there’ll be more soon.”

And with that, I logged out.

So Stormshaper has made a whole slew of enemies now and will never be invited into somerandomguildname. I wonder what will become of her?

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